Naptime Projects, 90 minutes of productivity

DECKSLIDE!!!!!

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 08:58:43 -0400

What happens when your in-laws tear down an old swing set, and give you a giant plastic green slide? Do you build a marvelous free standing fort in the back yard? No. You stick it on the deck. Hence…

DECKSLIDE!!!!

Jellous? You wish you had one of these on your deck.

WEEEEE!! (well, actually i think she said Oh Sh*t, but i doubt she has ever heard that before)

Y’all can just go ahead and thank me for the idea.

Sh*t My Staff Says

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 09:21:00 -0400

Now, I could go and talk about all the awful things that happen at my job, get mad and all but what will that accomplish. It seems for all the crap I deal with running a small coffee shop, a true gem comes round from time to time bringing a smile to my face.

Cobra Clutch MothaF*ckas!!!!

Sh*t My Staff Says: UPDATE!!

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 11:51:56 -0500

UPDATE!

I just recieved an email from the company where I bought my Will Smith action figure. They acknowledged the mistake and not only are sending me the right Will Smith Aciton Figure, but i get to keep the Bill Pulman Action Figure!!!!!!

Sh*t My Staff Says

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:47:00 -0500

Most of my week was spent hiding in the basement, but on a trip to the bathroom I discover…

Apparently Comy found an entire set of these gems at a local thrift shop. He’s been bringing them in randomly and creating a library in the employee bathroom. I love these books, all of the pictures are etched in my memories of childhood. Especailly the coral picture in this one, and the flying rays!

There’s alot more sweet info than these, check this library out!!!

On a side note, in an attempt to boost morale round here, I sought out Will Smith. There’s so much to learn from Will Smith. Did he go to the BBQ and let the aliens take over the world? No. When his mom got scared, did he do the right thing and move in with his aunty and uncle in bel air? So when I ordered an awesome Independence Day Will Smith action figure on Wednesday, I open it to a big heaping spoonful of disapointment.

That is not Steven Hiller, that’s the President, no Will Smith in the box. Lame. Well, when times were tough, and Will Smith ordered a new robot and instead they shipped him a crazy killer robot that threatened to kill everyone with a buch of other robots, did he just go back to the BBQ? No, he contacted Amazon and demanded his Will Smith action figure.

The olympics are over... Now what?

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:00:00 -0500

There’s something magical about the Olympics. The Winter Olympics provide hours of excitement watching complete strangers fight it out for gold, which is more than you can say for this bunch of strangers fighting it out.

From day one, I was sucked in, I’d watch any thing. Speed skating, heck yeah, snow boarding, you got it, curling, um… why not, women’s ice hockey… Oh hockey, I forgot about hockey. Sure, Sonja would be playing in the basement, and whack me with a mini hockey stick from time to time, but watching a game? I haven’t watched a hockey game in years. I watched the US women’s team, it was incredible hockey, the play in the game went uninterupted. High paced, constant movement, i haven’t seen a game like this in the NHL. The next day, I had a new mission. Find skates.

It started in Pre-K. My parents had me enrolled in a local private school that happened to have an ice rink. For gym class, we learned how to skate. This progressed into signing up for mites level hockey. Now, as much as it makes her cringe to this day, my mother was apparently the one who suggested that i play hockey.

Early on when my team needed a goalie, I volunteered. It stuck and soon my dad would be lugging me and all of my goalie gear aound the northeast. We had a lot of great times together and i’m sure Sonja will put me through the same with whatever her pasion will be. By the time college came around, with only youth and travel hockey experience, my future in the sport dimmed and so did my intrest. Till this year.

Twelve years off the ice, finding skates and ice time are foreign to me. I sought out a small hockey supply store the size of children’s bedroom just north of Saratoga. Inside I asked the owner if he had skates, he responded that he had nothing in my size, when I asked about him finding me goalie skates, suddenly he warmed and said “You didn’t say you were looking for goalie skates.” The curtain was lifted and I was escorted into the ‘VIP skate’ area. Apparently goalies are revered in the industry could it be a sign of respect, or perhaps it’s because of the cost of equipment and i look like a big dollar sign.

Got my skates, need some ice. After some resarch I went to a local rink for a public skate. Skating is just like riding a bike, except that somehow I forgot how to stop. I skated in circles for about a half hour, passing a lot of little kids, and some punks skating the wrong direction. What’s next, hockey? Well that’s my new problem. Time to find some pads. Guess I need a new project.

Sh*t my staff says

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:53:55 -0500

Alot of things have been happening the last too weeks round these parts, unfortunately I’ve been too absorbed in the Olympics to filter out the gems. To give you a little entertainment for the day i leave you these…

Mike scored this amazing Mr T. who now resides in the store.

This week was brought you you by Barrington Levy and his Pizza on Broadway Commercial.

Sh*t my staff says

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 09:28:03 -0500

It’s amazing how society has been blessed by such technologies as text messaging and social networks like twitter and facebook. Well these technologies make excellent tools for getting work done.

Texting has been quite the tool for me, many work problems have been solved by this medium. For instace, one employee was running late this week, so I sent him a message.

Sunday night was Super Bowl Sunday. Traditionally a slow night, I intercepted this face book post from somebody who was working. Hmm… He must have been on break.

But technology aside, in the end, the best material for entertainment are the classics. Cardboard and Sharpie. Saw this in the hallway one morning this week.

Junk Mail?

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:41:00 -0500

A few weeks ago I had to buy some bed rail hangers for Sonja’s bed. It brought me to this site where upon ordering a few things, I unknowingly signed up for a few things. My name and address were now pooled with those of other great wood workers. Well, I have you know that when you are grouped with such elite members of society you get sent some cool stuff in the mail.

I’m sure everyone is familiar with the valpak coupons that mysteriously show up at you door step. With such great offering like, vinyl siding scams, address labels, and kitty checks, how could one not tear open that mailer. Well, in my mail this week, I recieved the “Products for Woodworkers” promotional envelope FTW!!! I shredded that thing open like a birthday card from grandma (yeah I said it, don’t tell me you’re not guilty of doing this) looking for the goodies inside. Well to my disapointment the deals inside were a bit disapointing, but the story they tell is a bit disturbing.

One thing I like to consider whenever I’m looking at advertising is it’s target audience. In this case, being a new member to this elite group of Americans, I thought what do advertisers think woodworkers are intrested in. Well, let me show you.

Ok, fairly simple, a magazine subscription, makes sense. I’m a woodworker, perhaps I would want to read up on woodworking things. Maybe I want to see some new pocket screw jigs, or maybe the hot new mortise chisel.

There we go, that basement is too small for that new double dust collecting system. Maybe you need some indoor space to store your milling equipment. Every woodworker needs more shop space, makes sense.

Wood, woodworkers need to buy wood. Simple. Could these people be any more direct than to advertise lumber directly to woodworkers. Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Now this is a bit of a stretch, but I get the logic. Your a woodworker, you might be a hunter and you like your jerky. You might want dried bananas but don’t want to be caught in the organic bulk food section of Hanaford. Or, maybe just mabye your stocking up on dried food. You could use a food dehydrator. Perhaps you feel that just around the corner is….

Yup, I’ve arrived. Now i can consider myself part of the great group of self sufficient woodworkers who also have constructed a bomb shelter in their basement. Maybe it’s stocked with jerky, and an assortment of artisan lumber for the rapture. I’m lumped in with these crazies now according to the ad agencies. Better sign up for the millitia and load up on ammo. At least when the dust clears, everyone is dead, and my wife and i must repopulate the world…

Son of a bitch, really? Really?

Sh*t my staff says

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:43:25 -0500

Lateness is something I’m quite use to working in the food industry, especially one that starts so early in morning. Well, a few weeks back one staff member brought in a delicious dish of lasagna, and to my disapointment, this happened on my day off. I’ll have you know that there was significant backlash from that one. Well on Monday night this week, this same staff member found all the necessary ingredients sitting in his refridgerator. He also knew that he’d be up a little late that night so he made lasagna. Sure enough the next day, 8:00 rolls around and he is nowhere to be found. I make the call, he is barely awake on the phone, but gets on his way. Thirty minutes later he’s at work, that’s when I come up out of the office armed with a good bit about how mad i was (he seldom shows up late, and shows remorse, which is all you can really ask for mistakes happen from time to time, oh the rest of you reading this don’t quote me on that). I get up stairs, walk striaght up to him glaring him in the eye, then pow…

Lasagna!!

Enough for the whole class even!

Moral of the story, next time you show up 30 minutes late for work, make sure you bring me lasagna. (I will also accept zitti bake)

"Father daughter time"

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:10:00 -0500

As a kid, two types of toys dominated my youth. Legos, and Star Wars action figures. Star wars figures pretty much peaked after the release of Return of the Jedi, my sister and i had quite the collection. Well, all except for AT-AT walker, which i never had, but my friend Matt had, and i totally wish i had it, he probably lost it or something, or it was sold for a garage sale, his parents were into that sort of thing. Oh where was i? Oh yeah, star wars. So we had a whole slew of these toys which i would pick up at the “Junk Store” a random toy warehouse down the road from me. Eventually my love for them wained and i got more into legos than ever.

My sister and i built a town on a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood my dad fashioned into a table, complete with numerous houses, shops, the castle, parks, and all that stuff. Sometime between the years of elementry school and middle school, all of the star wars toys disapeared. The story i remember was my mom brought them off to good will. There are times i wish i intercepted that trip, and still had those toys, but i learned never to take your eyes off of your star wars toys.

Fast forward, to about ~~2004~~ 1998/9(see comments, there goes my credibility), Lego joined up with Star Wars, my head exploded, and i could achieve both the joy of getting back my Star Wars toys, and build legos, what more could a guy in his late 20’s want. I wen’t out bought a rediculous amout of legos, damn those things were expensive, until i ran out of money and my wife had an intervention with me (allthough she did just buy me the Millenium Falcon). Eventually they were packed up for the move to our new house.

New house, new baby, the legos sat untouched in boxes scattered through the house. Then the greatest thing happened two weeks ago, Jennifer went running as she does everyday, and i was left with Sonja. We went upstairs, and out came the legos. We sat there putting together all the old Star Wars Legos, well, i sat there putting legos together while sonja jumped up and down on a bed in the other room. Two weeks of bad parenting later, tada!!

It’s lego mania! On to the next project.

Oh, check this out, that link at the top, brings you to an awesome site, not only does it list all the old Star Wars toys, it has unlicensed Star Wars action figures, I spent way too much time checking these out, have fun.

Sh*t my staff says

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:52:43 -0500

Project 1: Code name... Sonja's Bed

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:15:55 -0500

Just because you have the equipment, watched years of Yankee Workshop, and you’re willing to waste a lot of money, doesn’t mean that you can build a sturdy piece of furniture. But why not try.

I settled on a plan i found online for a platform bed, cause why not make something fancy. Spent an entire nap session resizing it to twin size, (well, i did also catch up on the most recent episode of Heroes) bought a new planer, and headed off to Curtis Lumber for wood.

Suddenly I stepped into a new world of projects. Buying hardwood. Before this buying lumber meant going to the store, seeing the right size lumber, and paying what the tag said. WTF is Board Feet. There I was, at the counter getting a crash course in wood volumes, species and board foot prices. My head spinning in confusion, i settled on ash. Why ash, well, it’s cheap, sturdy, cheap, and not pine, oh and it’s cheap.

Step one, make the legs for the head board. Well this should be easy, take two peices of wood, glue them together, bam, done. Well, 90 minutes of cutting, planing, planing, planing, oh, plaining, and planing, i had four 3 x 1.5 in boards, ready for glue. Clamped one up and all glued, success. For today.

Oh and when Sonja woke up, I put her to work, cleaning up all those wood shavings. :)

yeah.

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:37:49 -0500

Everyday, somewhere between 2 and 4, Sonja takes a nap. While logic and reason tell me I should catch up on the sleep I’ve been depriving my body for the past two years, I feel the need to accomplish something greater with my time.

Here I’ll chronicle these projects, and other poor decisions I make quietly so not to wake the baby.